Kepler Newsletter #2: 3 June 2009
Report From The Centre Chair
Darwin's Malady is reaching it's climax. The Borg drone has multiplied and is seeking brothers and sisters to join him... er... her or it? Brother Barney the first unfortunate loss. So far most are valiantly avoiding them, with only one minor casualty reported, and a heck of a lot of screaming! And the fuzzballs? Well the Tiddleoffs have been relegated to a less imminient threat. Hopefully they'll be a walk in the park after our fine marines have dispatched the Borg.
Plans are afoot to expand Kepler. You might have seen mention of the word 'subsims' lately. That's because we're looking to use one of our support vessels as a sim within a sim ie 'subsim'. It'll be a temporary thing where any of the department heads who have the interest and the time to head up this little project can take the ship out for a spin and a mini mission with some PCs from Kepler or PNPCs that can also be provided and go wreak havoc. It'll give you guys a chance to get out and do more than be stuck on a little station, and it's also great experience to running a sim. Although looking at the list of Department Heads I know that most of you run or have run your own sims already... Oh well, we'll still have fun. And if this one is successful then we'll extend it to a more permanent subsim using Tribulation and let it go off on exploratory missions. Something to look forward to.
And remember... what would your character do? http://station.jedi.net.nz/forums/index.php?topic=11.msg1707#msg1707
Crew Notes (Promotions & Awards, etc)
Mission Summary Report: Mission 1: "Darwin's Malady
The Tiddloffs are coming! We have no idea who these beings of the Delta Quadrant are but they're coming. Other fun filled activities on Kepler include a murder mystery, a real whodunnit with a candlestick in the Jazz & Orchids lounge. And holy borgsicles! We've just found a real live (see deactivated) Borg in one of our science storage stasis chambers.
Currently in the plot:
- Captain Blake has decided to make a stand against the Tiddleoffs after evidence shows they were responsible for the death of a Kepler fighter pilot
- Tiddleoffs have accused Ambassador Sagin of molesting the head Tiddleoff's consort
- Current speculation regarding the murder is that the victim is actually a formerly prominent scientist who may have grown himself a new body and killed the old one - is it a murder or a suicide?
- The Borg drone has adopted some brothers and sisters
This will not end well...
Mission To Do List
Tiddleoffs are coming in 24 hours. This will affect the fighters for ship escort, marines as VIP bodyguards, Ambassador / CO / XO / yeoman, and any others
- Murder mystery. This is being led by Security and the Jazz & Orchard / medical, involves anyone interested or whoever they wish to approach - ongoing
- California Borg. I'm sure the title gives this one away but he won't be unleashed until later when he can cause the most havoc, Sciences pet but others may be pulled in later - ongoing
Current To Do List
- Marines: The Borg need to be contained. This needs to be dealt with by 3am IC and up to seven days OOC to complete this
- Department Heads: See to your departments and check in during the Borg kerfuffle. Medical tend to injured, engineering locked down
- Everyone else: You're scared shitless mostly while escaping from the Borg drones, seeing to injured, locked down awaiting rescue (ie in the Captain's ready room)
- USS Discovery: Still en route to Kepler. Due to arrive lunchtime next day IC (OOC seven days)
Stuck? Hit me or Shawn up for a JP or chat.
Quotes: He Said, She Said...
- "The Tiddleoffs are coming." -- The phrase that started it all!
- "Security is friendly. Hello, friend. Let me help vith trouble. Use minimum force required for job. Marines is... vhat poet said? Ah, yes, 'Rough men stand ready to do violence.' Deal vith enemy. Use shock and Aue for tactics. These are not things you vant in Security. If Security trained to deal vith problem like Marines, then start treating crue like enemy. Not good." -- Svetlana helps illustrate the very real differences between the marines and security
- "Is this a new form of plant life? No, too giggly. It must be an Olivia." -- David hosts Discovery Channel Kepler
- "Your first eh? I'll try and make it memorable then," she teased. -- Actually, technically she would be...
- "In order for something to disintegrate to the point where we can't see it anymore, sir, it has to be separated at the atomic level and destroyed; atomic decay. Atomic decay takes millions, even billions or trillions of years naturally. Radiation is what's left over after an atom is decayed or destroyed." -- Don't blink! You might miss the science!
- "Condolences? I don't give a green eyed fuck about your condolences Commander." -- Marines can't get enough of that colour
- "Lustful or lecherous, obscene or grossly indecent. Appealing to or stimulating sexual desire. According to the dictionary," she said with a frown. -- Exactly what Alex is thinking...
- "We are the Borg... hunfh." -- It needed to be said :D
- "I'm thinking capture and boarding." He grinned at her and scooped her up into his arms. "Perhaps the question you should ask is, are you coming quietly or are you going to resist?" -- Argh! Mum and dad are having sex again!
- "You touched my mother with your filthy hairless appendages," The Heir shouted. -- The Ambassador learns a very important lesson - if she asks you for a ride, don't give her one
- "Chief Winters here." He said without moving his eyes from the padd. / "Now what?" Fen asked. / "I don't know you called me. Who is this?" Alex began to think this was a crank call. / "Oh right, sorry," said Fen. "I was distracted by your big penis. What? Erk-" -- Speaks for itself
- "Honey, they always fit. Women stretch like a rubber band. We're made to fit. If you take another chance, keep that in mind. Leave a few bruises of your own." -- And it came from a doctor, so it's gotta be true!
- "The Captain will blame me for whatever he likes Miss. The only difference is even if he does blame me he knows that he can't do anything to me other then tell me off. My real job is not with him but with the Task Force Commanding Officer." -- And if the Captain wants to punish Aranai, he has to ask the TFCO to spank her
Total thus far for Darwin's Malady: 73